I’m in a hotel room having a chastening argument with my father about a broken ornament. The item in question is a hefty piece of carved and painted folk art. It features something approximating the segmented design of a totem pole, but with the rough dimensions of a large baguette. I’ve managed to accidentally break […]
Dream diary: broken ornament, Tesla coil, angry activist Read More »
Of my many weird obsessions, arguably the most niche is my enjoyment of mistranslated toy packaging. Now, as a baseline, I can glean amusement from any kind of English-language packaging produced by a company without the resources to employ a professional translator. But with discount toys, this phenomenon reaches an awkward apotheosis. The hunting grounds
The Infinited Mistranslations of Discount Toys Read More »
Day four of our brief visit to Kefalonia, and the pockets of my swimming shorts are filling up with rocks We have arrived, by dint of a wrong turn, at the wrong beach. This is not a sandy beach on the southern tip of the island, but a pebbly beach further north along the eastern
Kefalonia: stray cats and spanakopita Read More »
The fishing boats follow the fish. The turtles follow the fishing boats. The tourists follow the turtles. A small group of visitors clusters around the edge of the quay at Argostoli, waiting for the reemergence of a loggerhead from beneath the stern of a sleek 11m sailing yacht. Loggerhead turtles glide in the these waters,
Kefalonia: loggerhead turtles and strapatsada Read More »
We had prepared for the arrival of our first child in all the usual ways. We’d converted the spare bedroom to a nursery, picked out the perfect co-sleeper crib, and stocked up on pristine white babygrows. With my wife deep into the third trimester, there was just one time-honoured task outstanding. We still had to
How to match your unborn child with the perfect Snoopy book Read More »
I received my final mixtape in 2005. In those days, receiving a cassette already felt slightly quaint, if not yet anachronistic or performative. Still, you could hand it over with some confidence that the recipient could find a way to play it, on a compact kitchen stereo or an exhumed walkman. This romantic mixtape was
A Mixtape and the Trough of Longing Read More »
A West Wing character taught me how to stay on top of the housework. But did this fictional political consultant also teach me how to be unhappy? “It may not be realistic, but it feels real, and it feels right. If this isn’t what the White House is like, it’s what it should be like.”
This sailboat metaphor made me tidy, but unhappy Read More »
During a season of stifling heat and animal mortality, I tried in vain to teach my daughter about the Circle of Life… A friend of mine once asked why it was rare to see a dead animal on the streets of London, given the teeming population of creatures with whom we share the city. The
Apex Predators in High Summer Read More »
An Irish wedding and a rain shower forced me to confront the terrible transience of footwear… Driving through the west of Ireland can feel like a journey made in a motoring simulator. This is especially true if you’re used to negotiating the roads of London and the south of England, many of which are rarely
All shoes should be permanent Read More »
