Writing that doesn’t fit elsewhere because it doesn’t want to conform to your ‘standards’, Old Man.
A kaleidoscopic look back at 2023’s most hackle-raising moments, experienced while negotiating London on foot, on the Tube and by car. However you travel in London, you’re bound to encounter something interesting. People are always getting into altercations. Or trying to blag stuff. Or saying weird things to each other. Or missing connections. This is […]
London Lucky Dip: 2023 transport special Read More »
This is how it begins, although it ends very quickly: I’m with my wife, standing in a shared greenspace in a coastal region. We’re very close to our house (which is not our real house) and we live on what looks like a newbuild estate. There are multiple people around us, returning from the beach
Dream diary: Civil Defence Alert and Nuclear Shockwave Read More »
I’m part of a large group and we’re filing into a dining hall for a meal. The place has been decorated in modest psuedo-Nordic style. It feels like a tasteful restaurant in a museum or art gallery. The dining hall is just about able to contain three extremely long wooden banquet tables. There are benches
Dream Diary: Secret Elvis Costello gig and Jesus biography Read More »
I’m attending one of the first events held by a newly created university swimming super league. I’m there with my family. We’re all wearing these plump oversize white sports hoodies. The overhead ones, with the big front pockets, like those worn by American college sports fans. There’s an odd feeling to the experience: the sense
Dream diary: Fancy dress at the aquatic super league Read More »
A wine bar in Soho. On the wall, there’s a black and white portrait photograph of a well-dressed, elderly lady. She’s smoking a cigarette. One can imagine she’s probably wearing her best frock. Maybe she’s attending a grandchild’s wedding, in the East End. I stare at the picture for a moment, then I make my
London Lucky Dip: fireworks and a window cleaner’s eyes Read More »
I’ve been on a quest to expand my vocabulary for much of my adult life. The past couple of years have seen an unprecedented surge in word-nerd activity. As I outlined in part one and part two of this exhaustive linguistic tour, I now stand atop a mountain of phrases, foreign and domestic. And I’m
Captious Confessions Of A Word Hunter Read More »
One ripple effect of the death of Queen Elizabeth II was a minor uptick in Google searches for the word catafalque. Unfortunately, the global news media failed to pick up on this riveting development. Those organisations thereby missed the opportunity to interview me as a fascinating counterexample: a rare member of the public who was already
At the Frontier of Lexical Perplexity Read More »
I’ve always had a slightly offbeat vocabulary. On occasion this probably gives the impression that I’m behaving like a pompous prat. But honestly, more often than not it’s just down to bad wiring. When I’m in conversation with another human being, and find a word on the tip of my tongue, my brain frequently seems
The Immarcescible Truth: my weird and worthless vocabulary Read More »
I’m in a hotel room having a chastening argument with my father about a broken ornament. The item in question is a hefty piece of carved and painted folk art. It features something approximating the segmented design of a totem pole, but with the rough dimensions of a large baguette. I’ve managed to accidentally break
Dream diary: broken ornament, Tesla coil, angry activist Read More »
I’m supposed to attend a superhero fancy dress party very soon, and I may have found the perfect accessory. I find myself on the second floor of a cosy independent clothes shop. It’s evening, sometime in late autumn, maybe in the past. I’ve discovered a replica of the cowl that Michael Keaton wore in his
Dream diary: the bargain Batman Read More »
