One ripple effect of the death of Queen Elizabeth II was a minor uptick in Google searches for the word catafalque. Unfortunately, the global news media failed to pick up on this riveting development. Those organisations thereby missed the opportunity to interview me as a fascinating counterexample: a rare member of the public who was already […]
At the Frontier of Lexical Perplexity Read More »
I’ve always had a slightly offbeat vocabulary. On occasion this probably gives the impression that I’m behaving like a pompous prat. But honestly, more often than not it’s just down to bad wiring. When I’m in conversation with another human being, and find a word on the tip of my tongue, my brain frequently seems
The Immarcescible Truth: my weird and worthless vocabulary Read More »
Despite overflowing with odd creatures and bizarre planets, the Star Wars galaxy does feel strangely predictable these days. There’s greater room for diversity in casting and storytelling. But with so much money at stake, everyone is colouring inside the lines. The work must conform to the style guide and the production slate. Star Wars isn’t
Freedom and nihilism on the Lucasfilm frontier Read More »
I’m in a hotel room having a chastening argument with my father about a broken ornament. The item in question is a hefty piece of carved and painted folk art. It features something approximating the segmented design of a totem pole, but with the rough dimensions of a large baguette. I’ve managed to accidentally break
Dream diary: broken ornament, Tesla coil, angry activist Read More »
In the age of unlimited music streaming, discoverability is key, syncs are critical and algorithms revive forgotten tracks in ways that nobody could have foreseen. I still discover a lot of music via conventional sources: radio, prestige dramas, Top of the Pops reruns and chill streams. But mostly I prefer my playlist to resemble a
Collecting songs in the strangest places Read More »
Of my many weird obsessions, arguably the most niche is my enjoyment of mistranslated toy packaging. Now, as a baseline, I can glean amusement from any kind of English-language packaging produced by a company without the resources to employ a professional translator. But with discount toys, this phenomenon reaches an awkward apotheosis. The hunting grounds
The Infinited Mistranslations of Discount Toys Read More »
Wherever I saw Oasis play in the 2000s, the atmosphere was reliably febrile and the band were often adversarial. This was not a short-term relationship. Across the space of ten years I attended four very different Oasis gigs: Old Wembley, Paris, Old Trafford, New Wembley. After the apocalyptic performance I revisited in part one, the
Oasis live: Gallaghers in Paris, a homecoming and the last hurrah Read More »
I saw Oasis play four times in the 2000s, at Old Wembley, in Paris, at Old Trafford, and at New Wembley. This was a decade that took the band from the lowest point in their history, through a period of gradual rehabilitation, and finally through to their sudden, expected end. There was a never a
Oasis live: ten years, four gigs and a Wembley disaster Read More »
I’m supposed to attend a superhero fancy dress party very soon, and I may have found the perfect accessory. I find myself on the second floor of a cosy independent clothes shop. It’s evening, sometime in late autumn, maybe in the past. I’ve discovered a replica of the cowl that Michael Keaton wore in his
Dream diary: the bargain Batman Read More »
Choosing songs for your wedding dance can be perilous. You’re kind of marrying the song, as well. You’re wedding your identity to it. This is who we are. The one thing you want to avoid is selecting music that secretly undermines your union. ‘Every Breath You Take’ is probably the most famous trap: a stalker’s
The power and peril of the satirical song Read More »
